Jane Elizabeth CFE Video
Journal to Untangle Your Subconscious and Dismantle the Ego
April 8, 2014

Hi there, we’re still on our journey and thank you for tuning me in and last week I talked about the one tenth conscious and the nine tenth subconscious. And it occurred to me this week as I was thinking about what I might help you with this week, that I would like to explain a little more about the one tenth conscious and nine tenths subconscious that might be of help to you.

Some of you may have seen my wonderful, spiritual ball of karma [holding a rubber band ball]. And last week I talked to you a tiny, tiny bit about karma. What is stored in your subconscious and if you can just look at this ball of karma, you can see that there are all colored strings attached and around this ball. And if we can pretend for a moment that these are all your different lifetimes that you’ve had. Every color here is a different lifetime that you’ve had. You’ve had a blue lifetime and a green lifetime and a yellow, purple, orange, whatever. They’re all here and they’re all intertwined, as you can see, these lifetimes are all intertwined with each other.

Ok, if you can think of this ball of karma right now as your lifetime, and all these things are stored in your subconscious below the surface. And these are all impressions and thoughts, ideas, talents that you have developed through the many lifetimes that you’ve lived. So as you look at this, you realize that this is all in your subconscious. And look at it, it’s really a big mess. If you had to untangle this little ball here, you would find some of them come off very easily and some of them are entwined with other colors and you have to move everything around to get to the one you’re trying to get off.

Well, I just said a mouthful here. If you heard what I said, I said some of them are easy to get off and some of them are entwined with other things and it’s more difficult to separate them. With that said, you are going to be looking at the little different things that are in your subconscious that have created you. And as you can see, there are a lot of little things that created you. And the only way you can remove these rubber bands—these lifetimes—is to come in contact with that particular lifetime and the “I”, the identity you had when you were a green rubber band, that was your lifetime when you were in the crusades or you were in Germany, the Pope or many, many different characters you’ve played in every one of the lifetimes you’ve ever had.

So, now that we have this ball of karma and we understand we’ve had a lot of different lifetimes, how are we going to start to untangle this? Well, this was my problem when I realized I had a bunch of lifetimes, I didn’t know how on Earth I was going to untangle all this mess. So I’m going to tell you what I did.

In meditation, I said, “Ok, I can see that in my subconscious is a lot of different lifetimes; a lot of different memories. Where do I begin? I have no idea what’s down beneath the surface and I did, I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I knew! Help me, help me to untangle this if I have to become conscious of what’s here!” Personally I had no idea how I was going to do it. This was back in the 60’s. “How am I going to untangle this mess now that I understand that I have one?”

So I came up with this idea and you can do it too, or not. It’s all up to you, and maybe you’ve already done it. I said, “Ok, God, here’s my karma…here it is. I know I’ve lived many lifetimes, I’ve had many different little ‘I’s’, and I don’t know what to do with this ball or even how to untangle it. So I will, W.I.L.L.—I WILL my karma to you. I give it to you. I will it to you and I will my free-will.” because I know that I’ve got free-will here, “I will my free-will, to give it to you, untangle it; I give you my free-will. Use it like you will and bring it to me as I need it, and bring me the understanding from this, and I am willing to look at what I need to look at and go through what I need to do to get to the bottom of this [holding up the rubber band ball].”

Now, that was my desire in 1968-69 when I realized that I had a problem. I meditated for two months. Nothing happened. Everything was quiet. I thought, “Well that was worthless. Here I offered my karma up to you, God, don’t you want it? Didn’t you take it?” My little third dimensional mind was going “dip, dip, dip dip, dip”. “What’s going on? What do I have to do? What do you have to tell me? How am I supposed to work with this (karmic ball)?” Every morning I got up with the same question; every morning, during the day, the same question with no answer. Nobody was listening to me.

So I said, “I surrender. I surrender my karma to you. Do with it what you will. You want to show it to me, show it to me. You don’t want to show it to me, don’t show it to me. I surrender it. I have no hold on what you’re going to do with this mess. I give up. I surrender. I gave it to you, you keep it, what you are going to do with it, I have no idea. Obviously the last two months you wouldn’t talk to me. No one’s talking to me, I don’t hear anything after you told me I’m one tenth conscious, nine tenth subconscious, I have a veil, and I have karma.”

So that was my dilemma in ’68: “What on Earth are you going to do with me? I don’t know but I surrender the idea that you’re ever going to do anything with me. I surrender.

So everyday after that, I surrendered. I said, “I will the will of you, God. You do with it what you will. Show me what you want. Don’t show me anything. I want to go home; I want to know myself. So this is what I say. This is what I’m committed to and if you want me to write a letter of commitment, I will.”

So I wrote myself a letter to God and I said, “I am committed to go on this journey. I will do it no matter what and just help me. That’s the only thing that I’m going to say, help me to see that which I need to see and be focused on that which I need to be focused on.”

And more time went on. And during this time, several months, I continued my meditation and I went and bought a journal, paper, a notebook, and I started writing down what was happening each day. And I wrote down about my one tenth conscious and nine tenths conscious, and I wrote down what was happening to me, and how frustrated I was, and what my prayers were. I began the journaling process and I did not like writing anything but as soon as I got over my hissy fit about writing stuff down and did it. Made myself do it and I do mean made myself do it because nothing was working. So why not: “Here’s my commitment, I put it in my journal and now I’m going to write every day in my journal even if I say I’m sitting and nothing’s happening to me. I’m trying to work through my problems and nothing is going on. And I am frustrated today! Give me patience. I wonder if any body is listening? Give me patience. Give me patience. But one thing that you do know is I want some answers! However you want to give them--so I surrender how you’re going to give me my answers.”

I started laying down all the things my mind was telling me and it was going crazy because I didn’t know what I was doing. I had no teacher that I knew of that was helping me in-body. Anywhere I went and tried to get some help, they just said, “Oh you don’t need to meditate, you just love God; that’s all that’s required of you.” But I knew there was something else that was required of me and no one was helping me. So I kept going to the one source that I knew, that was meditation.

At least in meditation I felt like I was connecting to something even though I didn’t know what I was connecting to! As I was telling you, I was connecting to the infinite intelligence of this universe. So this little girl, in 1968, fussing and hollering and yelling…I finally quit. I finally rested. I rested. I put it all down. I just sat it down and guess what? When I stopped hollering and yelling and acting like a jerk, and quieted my mind, things began to pick up.

I began to understand and I realized how much that journaling for the last two or three months helped me because now all these little questions that I was asking in my journal, I was slowly but surely getting answers to. Yes, slowly, slowly. Do you hear me? Slowly but surely getting answers to. Now, as you can see, I have over here journaling questions. These are some of the journaling questions I used to help me learn about myself. And as we go through these journaling questions, “What emotion am I feeling?”

“I’m feeling angry; I’m feeling upset! Where are you God?” I wrote that down, “This is what I’m feeling right now.” And these questions have helped me more than you can imagine, and I journaled my feelings. Sometimes I felt happy; it was a happy day, but what made me happy that day? What was the cause of my happiness? What is the cause of my unhappiness? I started journaling and as I began to trust my journaling, what began happening to me was I began answering my own questions. It’s like somebody else writing, and I’m sure that somebody had my hand helping me, but I was answering them.

So what was I emotionally feeling? Very important to put that down daily or however it works for you. Then, who or what pushed my buttons. Very, very important, who was pushing my buttons? Who today was upsetting me? Was it my child? Was it the lady who was cashing me out at the grocery store? Something was upsetting me. Something was pushing my buttons, but what was the button that was being pushed? See, that was my next question: “What is the button that gets pushed every time I see that person that I feel angry or superior to them?”

Or whatever the button that was being pushed was good, bad or indifferent, I wrote it down. “This is what I’m feeling, and this is what I think the button is. If I’m not right, please help me and let me write down which button is getting pushed so that I can correct it.”

Then the next thing I went to: “Does this always happen to you? Is there a pattern in your life?” I found out there were patterns that kept repeating and repeating and once I started journaling, it was much easier for me to find my journey and my history and what was pushing me around. It was much easier because I had something tracking it; I could go back, “I think I did that a month ago, let me go back and look…oh yeah, I asked that question a month ago…look it, the answer is right here.”

Somebody was listening to me. Somebody was helping me, but I had to do the work! You see, before I thought it was a magic potion that would automatically happen. I started to learn through journaling that I HAD TO DO THE WORK. There was a process I was going through. And through this process, I was getting information about my soul, about my beingness, about who I was this lifetime or what created this lifetime that I’m in right now; how did it come to be.

So, “What is your soul trying to tell you?” That was so important to me. What was my soul trying to tell me? And by journaling, I could journal what my soul was trying to tell me and I got really, really good at it. At first I will tell you, I was crappy at it. I was very crappy, I took things to the wrong answers, but I began to learn; I began to use my talents and abilities that I had accrued from other lifetimes and pay attention to myself. I started being the observer of self.

You know I’ve talked to you a lot about being the observer of self. Oh man, did that ever help me through this process! And it continues to help so never give up your observer self because that is the part of you that is always helping you to unfold and be more conscious; more aware. And it’s not an accident; it has a purpose. Everything that’s happening now, it has a purpose. I want to find out what that purpose is. What is my soul trying to tell me? What is God trying to tell me, or my teacher, or the Masters, or whatever I want to call it.

“Help me, help me, help me, I surrender, I will journal. I will do this even though I don’t want to journal; I will journal.” I can remember sitting in my chair in my bedroom and it was 1969 and I was trying to journal and I said, “This seems to be a waste of my time. It doesn’t do anything,” and yet I said, “Well, this is the direction I got, to journal: ‘It will help you to understand yourself,’” was the message I got.

I had to fight the fact that, “This is boring”. I wanted this journey to be much more exciting than this. I have to do all this work, for what and why? The 1969 girl was very, very confused to why she needed to journal. But 45 years later I’m glad I worked through that ego of mine that was resisting. And your ego is going to resist on this journey over and over again and you have to have the observer watching the ego resist.

I just told you something huge! And if you didn’t get it, go back and get it. Listen to it again:

The ego. The more you go into the soul of yourself, the more the ego that you’re in this lifetime will have a hissy fit because it doesn’t want to surrender.

Once I figured that baby out, oh, I know whose trying to get in charge. Oh, my limited ego that doesn’t know anything because I know I’m a lot less limited than that little, limited ego thinks it is. And it thinks it knows all the answers and it doesn’t! It does not.

So, I think I just talked to you about the ego. Look at your ego and really, really embrace that you’re going to have a fight with your limited self. You will have a fight with your limited self and it will want to do it’s own thing and you are going to have to put it down and put it away. My limited self didn’t want me to journal! “Don’t journal. This is boring!” Who told me it was boring? My limited self! “This is not exciting enough!” Who told me that? My limited self. Who said, “Why give your karma to God, what difference does it make?” My limited self told me that.

Another thing my limited self said, “There’s no such thing as karma, what’s karma? Oh I probably just dreamt up that I had a past life. I’m sure, maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.” Who told me that? My limited self, and I got in touch with that limited self of mine that was always trying to disrupt the flow. Disrupt the flow, do you hear me? And I told you for two months I just struggled, and struggled and struggled with the one-tenth conscious and nine-tenths subconscious. And if I had given up to begin with, I wouldn’t have had to struggle for two months. I would have been much better off if I had just surrendered and said, “You show it to me at your will, at your time, I give it to you and I’m not going to pick at it anymore.”

For two months I picked at it and finally gave up and got an answer. So when you’re not getting an answer, ask yourself, “Whose trapping me? Was God trying to talk to me? My Teacher trying to talk to me?” Of course! But I was too angry that it wasn’t working out the way that I wanted it to! So I fussed around with that and what a waste of two months!

So look at where you are. Look at what you’re doing and how your ego trips in and takes over. Even your spiritual journey, when your heart is in the spiritual journey, the ego isn’t. So the ego wants to keep its throne. The thing is, you’re going to de-throne your ego and once it realizes it’s getting de-throned, believe me, it is a fight for your life. It’s the last “I” that needs to be destroyed. It must be destroyed and YOU are the one that’s going to destroy it. Believe me; trust me on this one.

Now, you’ve only begun the journey, or maybe you’ve been on the journey for 10 years, or 20 years…the ego is still available to trip you up. Maybe now you’ve got a spiritual ego and that’s the worst kind. The spiritual ego that’s gone to a certain place, “Oh, I saw some past lives, I must be really important.” Oh, believe me, I had that little baby. “I must be more important than most people because oh, oh, I had the veil lifted so, WOW! Whoa, I’m really, really brilliant!”

That was my ego that had to be destroyed. First I had to destroy the Janie ego then I had to destroy the spiritual ego! It was failing to go on. Don’t get trapped in the goodies that the spiritual ego begins to provide for you and think that you’re done because you aren’t! That ego has to be dismantled like anything else. Then you keep uncovering until you uncover your real self, the real “I” that is. And then your spiritual ego is an important part, but it gets destroyed too.

So, I’ve given you a lot to think about; a lot to write about and a lot to go back to as your journey continues because the tape that I’m making right now, this video that you’re looking at right now, put it in your favorites. This is going to help you at different points of your journey to remind yourself about your ego, about karma, about journaling, about being the observer of self.

Very, very important video I am making at this time and space because I’m talking to you. I’m talking to your ego. I’m talking to your God-presence saying, “Get out of the way of this student! Move yourself over. Don’t destroy this wonderful birth of the ‘I Am presence’ within this soul. I want this soul to discover its whole self in God and God becomes man so MAN CAN BECOME GOD!

Do you hear me? You have the involution, and then you awaken in God and then you become men to help others to become God themselves. Ponder on that one!

Boy, I heard that one way back and I pondered on that for years and years and years AND years, but it got uncovered slowly but surely. This journey is not for the weak…it is NOT for the weak! It is for the strong of spirit and when my mind, my little spirit got weak, I would say, “I know I’m very weak right now, help me to get stronger. Help me to continue on. I’m coming to a point where I’m weary. But I’m not giving up. You are trying to show me something and I need to see it. Please help me; please help me to see my whole self and I’m not going to get off the boat until I do. When I get off that boat, I’m in the oneness that I’m seeking because I’m already there. You’re just uncovering it so that I become conscious of it!”

Do you hear that?! You are uncovering it so that I, I become conscious of it. This is my purpose. This is the enfoldment of the God-realized being. Don’t give up till you’re there. And you will know when you move out of the third dimension into the higher realm of who the truth of you is. You will move out of being human forever and move into Godness—Godness.

But everything will be given away. Everything about you will be given away. You will surrender everything that you thought was precious. Even your idea of God and what God is like and the Masters and all of that. Believe me, just go down the road and all of that will be revealed to you, as you need it to be revealed. There were times I needed to believe I had a Master helping me, I did, I honestly did have a Master helping me. But then that Master disappeared and a new one came in and it kept happening to me.

Do not give up! When the going gets rough, you better get going because God listens to you. “Does he really want to discover the ‘I Am presence’ within him or is this just a little game he thinks will be fun to play this lifetime.” Only you can answer that and you will be tested. Take it from me, you will be tested!

Every time you take a few steps forward, you will be tested on the knowledge you received. Will it work, is it the truth, are you determined or are you going to fall apart the first time the moment comes that you have to do something you don’t want to do?

Who doesn’t want to do it!?

Your ego.

So get ready just to give it up. “I give up my ego. I give up any ego that appears to take me on my journey. I’m going to dismantle, as I move forward, I will dismantle that which is mine to and I will journal!” Every year I would burn up my journals. Now I wish that I had kept some of them that would take me back to 1968 because that was very important. But I do remember what I wrote in that journal and it was a bunch of baby steps. But, they were steps forward.

So I say to you today, keep this video. This is going to be an important video on your journey because I’m coming on a vibration right now. I am in the God presence, talking to you, telling you that you are also God. And it’s your opportunity to open the door wide and walk through and the heck with all the problems of the world! Your problem is to become God-realized. That is YOUR problem and the universe is pulling you to it.

Keep this video! Keep it because I am on a vibration right now to wake you up and to keep pushing you forward! So go back to it the moment you start to feel like you’re weak and you don’t have the strength to do it. Turn this on and remember I was in 1968 just where you are just trying to desperately understand what the heck was going on!

I am sitting here today saying it’s worth it! Don’t get lost in the third dimensional world of cause and effect. Move on! Get off your duff! Be the observer of self, do your journaling! Have the courage to move forward, that’s what it takes and hopefully I can give you the energy to do that!

So keep this video! Keep it! Put it on your iPad, your favorites; put it in a little corner and go back to it because in this video I have told you a lot of things that you’ll uncover as you look back on this because I’m opening up your ‘I Am presence’ within you. I’m pushing it; I’m opening it. And you will do the work. I can’t do the work for you. I wish I could but I can’t. It would take away your own discovery of self. That is not fair. It would have taken away my discovery. I wished it would be done; I prayed a billion times, “Please, God, will you wake me up right now,” and I just got another thing to do. That’s what happened. And you know what, thank you, thank you…thank you, God. Thank you infinite intelligence that created this wonderful process of realization.

I love you on your journey. I support you on your journey.

Keep. This. Video.

Bye-bye for now.