February 20, 2015
Talk by Jane Elizabeth

The girls were in the third and fourth grade and there was a Mothers club. And I, of course, joined the Mothers club because I was a good mother and good mothers do those things for their children. So good little Janie went to Mothers club and they decided they wanted me to be chaplain once a month. I didn’t know what to do because it was way out of my comfort zone. So, I was at my father’s house and I went into his library and there was a book by Drummond about love, The Greatest Thing Is Love. I got the book off the shelf and I decided that what I would do would be to take each step, which was Love is Kind, Love is Patient, Love Forgives, Love does this, Love does that and the next thing. Each month I took another one of these things and gave a few examples and read that portion of the book which was only about four or five lines. Well, what happened when I was working with this, I realized how much I didn’t know about Love. I wasn’t patient. I wasn’t forgiving. I wasn’t …. And here I am reading this to these people. And I’m very confused. “What is real Love, God? Teach me about real Love. I wanna know, I’ve gotta understand this.”

That was my first, my very first lasso. If you want to put in a lasso into my desire body to become more conscious, taking a greater step. I didn’t know it at the time … I can look back at the time and say, “Boy, that was my lasso.” I lassoed God and said “I’m interested in knowing about Love and not just this book, I need to know the true definition of Love.” That is what I said, “I have to know it! By the time I do next month, I want to know more.”

Well, nothing was happening. Shhhh, shhhh, everything was quiet and I felt, “Well that didn’t go anywhere.” Little did I know that was my lasso. That was my lasso to the fourth dimension. That was my permission, “Teach me about Love.” Every single month I said that for eight months because of the school year. Every month I said that and prayed about that and prayed, “Teach me patience; I have no patience.” Because I was working on patience all that month, everything that was out of my patience was showing up in my life. I saw I wasn’t very patient with my children. I wasn’t very patient with my neighbors. I wasn’t very patient with my mother or my father, my brothers. It was all over me that month. It just made me sick. It’s just like, “I have absolutely no patience. God, you better teach me patience because I don’t have any.”

That whole year I was asking for more understanding. I was trying to get in the door of Wisdom. I can tell you now because I’ve been there 45, almost 50 years. That was my lasso. That was my lasso, meaning my desire. I had a strong desire. I needed to know this. Nobody was talking to me. I can say that to you now, because I can understand when they start talking to you what happens. As I threw that out into the universe, “Help me, help me, help me, God. I don’t know, I don’t know, help me.” That was my very first lasso into the higher dimension of Knowledge. I’m saying I wanna learn about Love and I wanna learn about knowledge. That was the beginning. Not the beginning — that was more commitment, that was another commitment I made.

I had not met [spiritual partner] yet. I didn’t meet [spiritual partner] ‘till my kids were in the sixth and seventh grade, or seventh and eighth grade, somewhere in there. So that was early on. That was my “I am trainable. I am ready.”

Well, then they had to prepare me because I was very much in my ego, my Jane ego. “I bake cookies for school. I would never think about not bringing cookies and cupcakes to school. That’s very important! Because I’m a good mother. What would happen, Jane, if you didn’t bring those cookies in? Well, I would be a terrible mother. I think what you ought to do is call the room mother and say that you’re unable this month to bring the cookies in, could you get somebody else, one of the other mothers to do it this month?” I thought I was going to die. I thought, “Oh my God, I can’t do that. I’m a responsible person. That’s terrible, you know?” This was way back when I began. I called up and they said, “You’ve been such a wonderful mom, and you been doing this for the last two to three years with your kids and being the assistant room mother, baking the cookies and being there for special occasions, and blah blah blah, and we appreciate you so much. You know Jane, it’s probably time you didn’t do that. Maybe there’s some other role you can play.”

(Gasp) Oh my god, I thought I was going to die. “You mean I am not needed?” I didn’t say that to them. I said “Thank you very much” and hung up. I started to realize how attached I was to my ego and how I fed my ego and how I can make it “I’m okay” person. “I’m a good mother, wife, I bake my husband his favorite cookies, I clean the house, and I sew for my children. Look what a good mom I am.” They began to destroy my idea of what a good mom was. I didn’t understand that at all. Why would they destroy that because that was such a good thing? It was just like, “You’re doing nothing. You’re thinking you’re a good person, and, yes, you are a good person and, yes, that was good that you did it, but there’s something more important for you to do than that. Wouldn’t you rather give real cupcakes rather than a false cupcake? What about a real cookie? Not a false chocolate chip cookie. That’s going to be eaten and they’re going to enjoy it for the moment, but it’s not lasting. Wouldn’t you rather be baking something that’s lasting? Something that’s worthy of them? Because you’re short changing them, you have the opportunity to make the best cookie in town and you’re not doing it because you’re so involved in this wonderful third dimensional world that you have created for yourself. You’re just doing karma, honey. If you really want to grow and change, you’ve got to walk away from your personality and all the traits it has and thinks it’s so good or I’m a really bad person because I didn’t want to do such and such. Now, you think you’re a really bad person because you’re no longer baking cookies. Give it up!”

“Then, what will I do? What will I do with my time? Oh my goodness.” It’s like, “Shut up. Meditate! Meditate! Meditate!” “That doesn’t seem like I’m doing anything. My girls go to school and I sit and meditate? I get up at five in the morning and meditate before my kids go to school because I’m so busy getting them off and so forth and you’re telling me I have to meditate first thing in the morning? I’ll have to get up at five because five o’clock is the hour when the kids are up and I have to get them dressed. I have to get them out the door and make sure they have everything they need. So the only thing I can do if I want to know you, God, I guess I have to meditate. I guess I need to detach myself from whatever things I’m doing that’s keeping me stuck.”

That was brilliant but I didn’t know how brilliant that was. “Detach me from everything. Detach me.” I gave another lasso. “Oh, she’s giving permission for us to detach her.” Listen, I was a guppy in spiritual school and I didn’t even realize I was in spiritual school. I just thought I was talking to God up in Heaven on a throne and he was listening to me. I tell you, it’s far different from that. But that was my beginning. That was my beginning. In that beginning of desire to know, I wanted to know God but Love was very much a part of God. So, if you can look at it, there’s many facets that I had to adhere to, so to speak. If I want to love God or know God, I needed to understand Love which is one of the first principles of knowing God, you know.

As I grew in my understandings and I talked to my mother about this and said I want to really understand more about Love, my mother came over with a book I Will Lift Up Mine Eyes by Glenn Clark. Of course, I started reading that and he talked about Love, he talked about commitment to God, to your spiritual journey and how your conscious, subconscious and superconscious minds had to walk in perfect harmony with itself. That threw me for a loop because I didn’t know what that meant. There was no clear picture about that in the book. I mean, it just said you just desire it.

He was absolutely right. I had to desire it, and I did desire it, but I didn’t realize how that was another lasso up there saying, “Okay, I want to know my subconscious and my superconscious and my conscious. Of course I know my conscious.” No, I knew 1/10 of my conscious, so what’s in my subconscious was my question. [Spiritual partner] and I, we talked about that. What’s in my subconscious, what does that mean? I don’t know what that means, but I guess we need to know what’s in our subconscious for some reason. Another lasso, okay, BOOM, BOOM.

Those little puny desires that we think we have to grow spiritually. “God is not answering my prayer. Why isn’t God healing my body? Why isn’t God letting me meditate better? Why is this all happening?” With all that is happening, will you get discouraged? Will you say to yourself, “You’re not helping me, I’m going to go to a different church, I’m going to go to a different teacher, you’re not giving me the results I, the personality self, want?”

“I want a better body. I want a better job. I pray every morning for this better job. You don’t listen to me, God.” God is not going to listen to that, I found out. God doesn’t take care of that. That’s karma. That’s sowing. Do you have a sowing piece to have better karma or you’re going to say, “Give me the perfect job to help me grow spiritually!” Now you’re saying something. BOOM BOOM BOOM … that’s very, very important. Now you’re putting a desire, a spiritual desire, with your desire here. So, all moves together.

These puny little desires, “I need a better body, I need a better job” are just 1/10th of a bleep. When you get a big desire like, “I need to know, I don’t want to be stuck in this body any longer, I need to know what makes my body tick. You show me!” You’re saying, “I want to go beyond my body. Because if I’m all consumed about my body or my job or my finances, all those things, when I pass over, they’re all going to drop away like feathers. They’re not going to mean anything at all. They are going to be dropped into my subconscious as failures or successes. I’ll be back down in another lifetime to continue to try to get a better job, to be more spiritual.” You’ll go back to all those things and you will get them. Then the day will come when you say, “I’m tired of all this stuff. I’ve been everything. I’ve been the king; I’ve been the pauper; I’ve been the perfect body; I’ve been the sickly body; I’ve been a great husband; I’ve been a crappy husband; I’ve been a beautiful woman; I’ve been an ugly fat lady; I’ve misused sex; I’ve abused other people. All that stuff, it’s all sitting in my subconscious and I can pick up any one of those nasty programs that I put in and pull them into my conscious mind and think it’s real.”

That’s where the Observer Self comes. Until we observe the self and see what’s pushing your buttons. “Who’s in there pushing my buttons? I’m a nice person. I’m very kind to others. I try my best to take care of my family and I’ve really cleaned up my act. I don’t think this way. Someone else has come into my living room and is thinking for me.” When that starts happening for you, then you know that there’s a past life that’s trying to come into consciousness so that you can purify or change or help to dissolve the bad of it. What really happens is good because you were diligently trying to be a better friend or better father. That is all going to go into your spiritual credits because that’s a good thing. When we do terrible things to other people, that also destroys some of the spiritual credits you built up within yourself and into your soul so that you will be moving into a higher place of understanding. You’re going to have more power and we have to take all your hand grenades away. Because, then you will grab it up for yourself and use it for yourself. That’s not going to be of any value to your soul. That may be nice for your personality but your soul is going to be screaming at you, “No, that’s not why I brought you to this place of understanding; it’s to get rid of them and not to indulge in them.” Stand back and look, “Where is this hooked up at? What point in my evolutionary process and history did this thought form arise?”