JE Group Discourse
Take Responsibility for the I Am That I Am

I think, yes, this year has been a huge shift in consciousness for all of us. Some of your karma with some of those loved ones an some of the challenges, relationships you’ve had…that karma is being dissolved and new karma is being put in its place. Which could be just about anything and this is also true with me.

I don’t have karma, but what I mean is, I’m moving into a new space of learning. I have a new teacher—they don’t like to be called teachers (giggling)—a different ascended Master, I’ll put it that way. They prefer to be called Ascended Masters. So anyway, and I have my little group of Masters I’m teaching, which is all of you. So it’s all trickling down.

And this is a trickling down, as above, so below. And I think that I’ve talk to you all about that a lot. That everything that is happening to you now, and since you’ve started on your journey, has been dedicated to helping you grow spiritually. And to do your karma that you have, that is in front of you, in the highest manner. And so whatever that means.

Sometimes it means we have to move away from that significant job or that significant person, house, city, whatever. And other times it means you’re going to stay in the same place but things are going to change. The old play is over and a new play is beginning in the very same household with the very same characters in the household, but the play has changed. Nothing is looked at in the same manner.

When we realized and cooperate with those changes, we move much quicker than resisting them. And there’s always the challenge of the responsibility of our spiritual growth, of course, and that responsibility we have to listen, listen, listen to our inner guidance. And not just say, “Oh that was interesting,” and push it away. “Oh, that was interesting.” Nothing that is ever told to you or shown to you is by accident. You know that. It’s there for a purpose.

If you have a mountain to climb it’s there for a purpose. If you have an experience that you’re experiencing from your subconscious, it’s there for a purpose. As we are very clear that our whole life is about subconscious things that have happened in our past that we’re doing karma for now. And you all know that. And that changes when one piece of karma has made its transition, a new one will come forth; a new way of looking at things.

As a spiritual student, you keep looking at things new. What you learned about last year, the simplest thing, I was talking to (student) about love yesterday…there’s many, many degrees of love we must find out. And so we have to always be open to open the door to what real love. What is real love? And real love is far different from romantic love or sexual love or that kind of human hood that we say is so important.

That kind of love is helping you to do your karma. You see? So we have those desires for a person or a job or a house or whatever or neighborhood, because we need to do karma there. Our children, if we are going to use our children as part of our spiritual growth, which I hope you all are that have children, they are always helping us to understand more about ourselves. And to look at them differently because they are changing and doing different pieces of karma as they’re moving forward.

We have to have that eye in two places: the eye in the fourth dimension and the eye in the third dimension and live from the higher dimension but be physically active in the third. Do you follow what I’m saying? It’s a physical action. We have to go to the store, we have to do what we need to do third dimensionally because that’s third dimensional action.

If we have fourth dimensional vision, and that’s what we have to have and when I say fourth dimension, I’m scoping it much larger than fourth dimension but I don’t want to talk about…fourth dimension is good enough for me. Fourth dimension is just another dimension…maybe you need 6th dimensional vision. It doesn’t matter. I may refer to you as being in the fourth dimensional vision simply because it’s easier to understand than to say, “You’re really learning 6th dimension vision.”

And that’s truly what happens to us when we grow and we change. We get higher vision. Once we’ve learned fourth dimensional vision, we have to learn fifth dimensional vision. And once we’ve learned fifth dimensional vision, we have to learn 6th dimensional vision. And I’m talking about vision and understanding and not so much about dimensions. You see?

It’s vision and understanding, if you want to put it in a category. You have to have…I’m trying to think of a good way to say this to you guys and I have to take off my coat because I’m getting warm. I’m going to put it this way, I’m going to start over here:

You have 1st grade vision and understanding. Then you have 2nd grade vision and understanding. And then you have third grade vision and understanding. And then you have fourth grade vision and understanding. Then you have fifth grade, 6th grade, 7th grade vision and understanding. Spiritually, you’re just like the child that’s in 1st grade when you begin on the journey. And then as you grow and change and learn, you go into 2nd grade vision and understanding and every degree.

So if we’re going to talk about just the simple subject of love, which (student) and I were talking about yesterday, what is love? What is love at what degree? It’s 1st degree love, 2nd degree love, third degree love, fourth degree love, every time you graduate, you get a higher understanding of what love really is. And it’s far different from the third dimension, “I love this person, I need to be with them!” That is clingy, controlling love. That is not good love, that’s just karma; karma playing itself out.

But, as you advance in your consciousness, you may have somebody in your life but it’s not because you believe you NEED them there or because they’re your sexual partner and you love having sex or you love having conversations with them or you love this or you love that. It’s none of that! As you grow in consciousness, it’s all of that but nothing has a high priority. They all have the same priority.

You see? They all have the same priority. I don’t even know if I said that right to you. Does that make sense to you? It’s very hard to talk to you about sometimes because they’re so elusive and I try to grab a hold of a concept and I lose in translating it to you. But as you feel it, you’re going to know it. It’s an experience and once you have the experience, you have the understanding of it.

So spiritually speaking, a spiritual student has experience, understanding, and action to take. It’s not under any of the old rules of human hood. And the further away you get from human hood, the less human activity rules your life. You may be doing the same things in the third dimension, but they don’t have any power over you. They’ve lessened their power over you.

And as you learn more about love, love is an energy force that is a higher energy force. As you move into higher understanding, you have greater capacity to love because you understand more and know it’s for a bigger purpose and not just for one person or one family. But it’s humanity in a whole. You are in love with all humanity at the highest level. Anything you can do to serve them to help them to grow and change, you are right there present.

And that’s very hard for a third dimensional person to understand that because third dimensionally, it does not make sense. It becomes very hard to talk about it with third dimensional people because they can’t grasp that because they’re still focused on things and people and karma and all that stuff. And they feel that that’s real, of course that’s not real, it’s just from another lifetime that you’re doing your karma out of.

Once you get the understanding of it, then you have a piece of mind, you have a piece of understanding that when you’re doing things third dimensionally, they have no power over you. You’re simply doing what needs to be done and it has no power, power over you one way or another. It’s just simply what you do.

So, as I look around, if my students pass a test or if they fail a test, I’m ok. I love them just as much as if they pass or if they fail. It doesn’t matter to me. It’s them that are affected if they don’t do what they need to be doing; they will pay for not getting the lesson and have to do it over again. But the love is still there, the energy is still there, the power and the strength to move them forward is still there, you see.

And that’s where you will be. Where you are unaffected in the world of politics or government or any of that because you’re just looking at karma. You’re just looking at your mother and father’s karma or your sister and brother’s karma or your aunt and uncle or the people you’re working with. They’re just doing their karma. What right do you have to judge their karma? You don’t know what their journey was or why their journey is like it is. It’s a waste of time to measure up where they are or where you are because you don’t have any ideas! You’re stupid because you’ve only looked at your life through a little, tiny people hole and all the other lifetimes and here you are.

So you’re still looking at them through a peephole when you should be looking at them from that higher vision and just be there for them to support them in whatever they need to do while you’re doing the important work for your personal growth. And that’s the joy of being in 10th grade, I’ll put it that way—fourth dimension—when you’re in 10th grade, you have a different view of life.

And then when you graduate, there’s still another view of life and there’s always this constant moving forward, this constant moving. And this is where a lot of students get upset because I’m doing all the right things, why isn’t God doing this for me? Well, everybody in this group knows that, that’s not truth. That’s a false belief. “I meditate everyday and nothing’s happening!” That’s not true! They may be meditating and I know something is happening. But according to them, they’re not getting what THEY want out of it and what THEY want is a selfish reason.

And I’ll tell you, if you have a selfish motive to meditate, you will not get anything out of it because it’s not pure…it’s not pure. So you always have to think of purity of thought, “Am I pure here, have I gotten ridden all the underpinnings of my subconscious because only when I’m through and I have no underpinnings in my subconscious am I truly free and truly without judgment; truly without judgment.”

While you’re on the journey, there’s a lot of judgment that’s going on. A lot of measuring up and whatever we want to call it. Until you’ve cleaned your house completely and moved into a new space of being-ness, you’re still going to be affected by past lives and past karma because that’s the way it is. And until you’ve cleaned your house out perfectly and kept it clean, and I mean, clean in thought and have learned what real love is, what absolute love is and there’s many, many, many, many, degrees of love!

Many degrees of love and we get stuck in some romantic of ours and it’s just a romantic idea and even the romantic idea of when I was 30 years old that I would marry God or I would…how foolish I was! Fortunately They loved me anyhow and took me into class and started changing me at depth because my heart was there by my head wasn’t. I didn’t understand what was really going on. I was missing a lot of little things.

Thank God, thank God the journey…I’m so grateful for my journey, I’m so grateful for the times I feel on my face and skinned my nose and had bloody arms and legs and whatever. They were the making of me! The times that I fell the hardest and was in the biggest shit, so to speak, and climbed myself out of it and took responsibility for it and did my forgiveness work and moved on…they were my greatest, greatest victories. You have victory over yourself—your subconscious—victory!

You have to become a soldier that won’t let anybody stop them from their victory because the more you go into your subconscious mind and the more you look at things, the more you are going to face yourself face to face. And when we have to face ourselves face to face, it’s not too pleasant sometimes. And it was my hardest journey to face myself and all the different consciousnesses that I had and to face each of those shitty consciousnesses and had to look at the worst part of it and not the best part of it.

The places where I failed the most as far as decision-making and anger and I’m going to get “even”, those parts had to be moved out because they can never move into the higher realm. And once we are serious spiritual students, then the gloves are taken off and when become warriors of ourselves. We become our own warrior. We have to fight ourselves, every inch of it. And what happens to students when they have to start the fight, they can’t…they fall…they can’t do it. They have no understanding that the little battle that they’re doing in the opposites this lifetime, that they are taking just as seriously as if something horrible happened to them, so it’s better you go down and look at the dirt laundry and get rid of that because you’re going to suffer one way or another!

When I realized that, hey, I’ll suffer, I’d rather suffer this than being third dimensional. I’d rather get my house cleaned no matter what it took me or no matter how much I fought it or didn’t want to see it. Thank God my heart was at least in the right place and I had somewhere along the line, I begged for courage. Every step of the way, I begged for courage. When I got into the overwhelming place and my karma was breaking up and I didn’t know, I knew that but I didn’t know what was going to happen.

I had to say, “Give me the courage to walk through this! Give me the courage because don’t take the cup away from me! Don’t lift this until I climb the mountain! Don’t you dare because if you do, I’m going to have to climb the mountain again. Don’t do that, God!” That was my prayer, “Do not stop it! Don’t give me any relief” because the minute I sit back on my laurels and say, “That was good.” I had maybe an hour to take a deep breath and say, “I’m glad that’s over” but after that hour I’d say, “OK, thank you very much, that was so wonderful to get that piece of shitting information, I understand myself, I understand what I am about, I understand my soul, now give me the next piece. Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare cover it up and let me go back to the third dimension thinking that I made the grade when I hadn’t. Don’t! NO!”

That was my biggest fear and the biggest screaming I did and so did (spiritual partner). She hollered and screamed just like I did, “Don’t, don’t, don’t let up on me! If I have to look at my child and see how he/she cut off my head or see how it was in a lifetime where it was terribly evil to me, or so I thought, in that lifetime, teach me to love that child because that karma came from somewhere; teach me. I need to love myself and love them no matter how they treated me.”

And it’s so interesting now, 45 years later, when I’ve been through that dark night of the soul, which when you really have to look at all the shit in your subconsciuosness and you’re really letting go of the personality self, and I can look back and I can say, “Oh my God, thank you, thank you. And I’m sorry I was such a big ole crybaby. I’m sorry I was a crybaby. I’m sorry, please, you know, I forgive myself for being a crybaby.”

But I soon learned not to be a crybaby. I soon learned that, no! I had to say NO to my crybaby person and say I’m willing to look at whatever crap you’ve got to show me that I put in my subconscious! I did it! God didn’t! Nobody, nobody else put it in there, but I did; I did it! And when I took full responsibility for the “I am that I am” and what I shoved in my house of consciousness throughout the many lifetimes I had, there’s only one person that can clean the house!!! I can’t call the maid and tell them, “Come and clean my house today.”

No! Because even if the maid came in a swept my house, I’d still have to clean my house. There’s no such thing as God coming and cleaning your house—YOU are going to be the one cleaning the house and just remember that when it gets tough, you asked to clean your house. You asked to see what made your consciousness the consciousness it is TODAY. You asked to have that emotional body smashed to smithereens. The subconscious is where all the emotions of all the lifetimes are stirring in you. They are stirring and take charge of you and you believe that’s who you are and you can go back to visit those. When you are a spiritual student, you are forced to go back and visit them; to look at the depth of your sorrow or your shame or your guilt.

Not because you aren’t loved or not cared for, because you have the opportunity to clean up the house. It takes a great deal of responsibility and a great deal of observing the self and that’s what I’ve been preaching for 45 years. Be the observer of yourself. Be that observer! Don’t ever let yourself not be the observer of self. Don’t go to sleep. Don’t go into action out of anger or anything. If you’re going to take action, you take it from the most pure heart possible.

So, what’s important to you as you’re cleaning out your subconscious, you are cleaning up your emotional body. Do you see because that’s where all your emotions are hidden. That’s where they’re all down there and they’ve got to come up into the air, into your conscious mind in order to get rid of them because otherwise they stay there underneath the surface and they give you responses to things that you’re doing today that you have no idea where those decisions are coming from and you are just a puppet!

You are just a puppet! That’s the truth! You’re just a puppet! You’re a puppet dealing with old emotions. You’re just a puppet (pointing to students) dealing with old emotions! Do you see? You are a puppet! And when you start to realize that you are a puppet that is in an emotional state all the time—an emotional state of love or hate or, “Oh I really did a good job…no I didn’t do a good job…I wasn’t perfect…oh my god I have to do it over again, oh I still wasn’t perfect.”

Oh my God, what things we do to ourselves in our emotional body and that is one of the things I talk about the subconscious and I don’t often talk about it being a thick, heavy emotional body, but it is. And I think you’ve grown to the place in your own consciousness that you can see it now more clearly than you did when you were first part of my group. You see it and you experience it and you experience how your emotions can throw you in one direction or the other with a breath.

And that has to be taken care of so you look at things clearly and with clear perspective. Every body else that lives with you that is in your life, that is your child, live in an emotional body, you might as well say it like it is. The opposites are emotional experiences—emotional body—that’s all it is, is an emotional body, we’re puppets in an emotional body. “Good, I got a raise…oh, I didn’t get a raise; I’m not respected at work…oh I’m really loved, they gave me a star, oh wow, they all applauded me…oh they didn’t applaud me, oh my God! I must have failed them!”

So you’re always in that, “She loves me, he loves me dearly, she hates me, oh my god, ooh my god!” All this stuff is an emotional state of being. It’s a constant, emotional state of being. And remember that every member of your family and everyone you work with is in an emotional state of being! They are in an emotional state of being. They are simply in an emotional state of being. Your best friend is in an emotional state of being. Back and forth; back and forth.

And your children, your children are in an emotional state of being and it’s easy to watch our children and see that. But we don’t realize that we are just as much an emotional puppet with our emotions—we are a puppet to our emotions. That’s why once you’ve learned and moved into that higher state of being, you are no longer attached to your emotional body. Can you imagine what life is without being attached to emotional body? Well you won’t know until you get there because you’re all trying to balance that out and get through that and you have all the help you need—all the help you need.

But you have to do your part. You can’t go to sleep. You can’t find reasons for not doing what you’re suppose to be doing because that just simply puts you back into another emotional state. We don’t want to be in another emotional state. We want to be in the higher state. Any emotional state is definitely in the opposites—in the third dimension. And we have to take on those big issues in our subconscious. We have to as spiritual students. That’s no fun!

But it’s not fun being in your emotional ping pong game. It’s a ping pong game. That’s a stupid place to be too! So it’s better that you have to face the truth, get rid of it, put truth to the lie, you know, and say,

“OK, that was interesting; that’s why I always do this. Every lifetime it seems I’m doing the same thing over and over again and reinforcing the lie, and reinforcing the lie and reinforcing the lie that I told myself. ‘I wasn’t good enough; I deserved to be hung; I deserved to be shot; I deserved to do these things; OH, I deserve to be the star. They didn’t make me the star?! OH! I must have done it wrong because next lifetime I’m going to do it right and they are going to make me the star. I didn’t quite do it right; I’m going to try again—I want to be the star, please make me the star! OMG, I’ve been trying to be the star for five lifetimes and I still haven’t cracked it. There’s always somebody that comes along that’s a bigger star than I am. When do I get to be the big star? The big cheese!’”

Never! You never will be because when you’re the big cheese, you’re going to be so afraid somebody is going to kick you off of it. “I finally made the grade, but now I’m worried! So-in-so over there is as good of a singer as I am; that guy is a better businessman than I am. I think he’s going to take my job.”

Whatever. I can name a thousand things. You know what I’m talking about. There’s always something to be afraid of and it’s usually somebody is going to get something you don’t have.

I said the magic word here if you simply heard me. I gave you a big hint there. I hope you heard that. I know the people in this room heard it. Yep.

I’m stopping right there because we’re going to meditate. And I hope somebody types this up and puts it down so you can read this a hundred times because I took you there. I took you on a trip today! If you have eyes and ears to see this, you will find out where I really took you tonight!

I took you to a new place in your consciousness if you will but look at it and see it! And if you don’t say, “Please show me; please give me the revelations I need. I need to know what she was really saying. Show me. Make me see. She took me on a trip today.”